The Only Real Democracy in the World

You may not know this, but there is only one real democracy in the world, only one country where true democratic ideals are flourishing: Libya. If you don’t believe me, just ask the world’s most respected authority on democracy: Muammar Gaddafi.

Addressing a conference of U.S. and Libyan scholars at Columbia University in New York, the Libyan leader gave them information that only the most well-educated among them already knew: “There is no state with a democracy except Libya on the whole planet.”

Gaddafi did not attend the conference, but spoke through a video link, demonstrating the immense value of teleconferencing, without which so many people would have been deprived of such wisdom.

As reported by Reuters, Gaddafi described the representative democracies in the West as “farcical” and “fake,” inferior to Libya’s Jamahiriyah system, which allows people to express their views through a hierarchy of people’s congresses. Unlike democracy in countries like Uganda and Zimbabwe, where a single leader has ruled for more than 20 years, Libya’s democracy has allowed its citizens to elect three leaders in the past 37 years: Khadhafi, Qadhafi and Gaddafi. (If you think they are one and the same, you are probably one of those misguided foreigners who also think that all Libyans look alike.)

Just consult the Official Libyan Book of Facts and you will learn that Khadafi ruled from 1969 to 1984, then lost an election to Qadhafi, who ruled until 2000, when he was defeated by Gaddafi. None of the elections was disputed; none was decided by the Libyan Supreme Court. However, the campaigns were always contentious, creating such bad blood among the three rivals that they vowed never to appear in public together. To this day, Gaddafi does not talk to Qadhafi, though their wives do maintain occasional contact, several of them at least.

Qadhafi, in case you are wondering, was responsible for much of the state-sponsored terrorism that tarnished Libya’s reputation in the 1980s and ’90s, a condition that Gaddafi has worked hard to rectify. By participating in conferences like the one in New York, he hopes to show the world that his country has not only cleaned up its act, but wants to foster global progress and international cooperation, even if it means letting other countries in on the secret of democracy.

“Countries like the United States, India, China, the Russian Federation, are in bad need of this Jamahiriyah system,” Gaddafi told the conference. “This is a savior to them.” But his words have so far failed to excite leaders of those countries, particularly President Bush. “I know who my savior is,” Bush said. “And it isn’t Jeremiah.”

Outsiders may be skeptical, but there are millions in Libya who know the truth, having studied the Official Libyan Book of Facts. It includes indisputable facts like these:

---George Bush has ruled America with an iron fist since 1988. He came to power after ousting Ronald Reagan in a bloody military coup. Bush looks much younger today than he did back then, due to a strenuous program of running, weightlifting and facelifting. Bush has two wives: Laura and Condoleezza.

---Al Gore tried to overthrow Bush in 2000, but failed in his attempt and has since mysteriously disappeared. Though no one is certain what happened to him, Bush’s deputy, Dick Cheney, has been known to shoot people. He is the chief reason that Bill Clinton, a previous opponent who briefly held power, now lives in exile in India.

---Libya is the only real democracy on the planet, though Saudi Arabia, Pakistan and Cuba are fairly close. It is because of Libya’s freedom and democracy that many Americans, including Elvis Presley, continue to live in this great country.